GetRealPhilippines repeatedly points out the sensitivity of da Pinoy as something that is immature and something we should grow out of–and fast, for many reasons:
Ego distorts our way of thinking–it helps Pinoys make excuses for bad behavior instead of correcting them. Ego shifts blame–it helps insists that it’s Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s fault that the Philippines is in the dumps instead of looking for the REAL reasons in order to give the right solution. Ego helps people lie to themselves–The Aquino family saved us from total economic destruction. Then they wonder why their problems with money, with relationships, with their snatchers Manila traffic, and criminals won’t go away.
Pinoys just can’t, can they? Before you engage them, they insist you to have good social skills–someone with pakikisama. They want people to give them negative criticism “in a nice way.” They vilify the frank ones if they aren’t mentally-prepared for Real Talk. If you tell it as it is–bitter and full of ouch, they’ll assume you’re wrong. To them, there is no better method of you telling them their faults other than telling them that “in a nice way.”
You think you can sugar-coat your observations about them, but with no such luck. They make polite excuses when they think they are prepared for Real Talk–”I had nothing to feed my family, I was confused, I have a D, I was tempted. It’s just who I am.” Congrats, you’ve just been tuned out.
You can see how much they care about taking care not to get butthurt, therefore get real: PNoy rigs a Hope Christian School Q&A forum, Supreme Court ruled RA 10175 constitutional, politicians hold press conferences on national TV, celebrities file libel cases everywhere, your classmate whispering behind your back because you frankly told her she has bad breath two days ago in the privacy of your Facebook chat.
I guess it’s an international thing for people to be concerned about how people are supposed to say their two cents about anyone else. Many governments have been made Enemies of the Internet given the frank and spicy nature of bloggers and Anonymous.
So what?
Granted that many Filipinos truly need to refine their pakikisama, does that excuse the rest of their society to remain sensitive?
Why should Filipinos be so concerned about the way things are said about them?
In fact, why is da Pinoy so easily butthurt?
I offer a psychological explanation on the mechanism of denial. Denial, or perceptual defense as psychologists call it, is a form of defense mechanism employed with teeth, claws, and basest instincts for survival. When something is threatening, unpleasant, or negative, we employ varying degrees of perceptual defense so that we don’t get traumatized by them. Otherwise we go insane.
Survivors of gruesome accidents have one notable example on how denial works. Many of them saw themselves and others burned, broken, or torn apart before their very eyes. They look at all that meat and blood scattered all over the concrete. It’s graphic. Yet when they regain consciousness in a hospital days or weeks later, they will tell their doctors that they have no memory of what just happened. It’s self-censorship to the point of actually believing the edited version of memory.doc to be true.
Given the unpleasant nature of criticism, Pinoys’ perceptual defense goes up along with proselytizing everyone why it’s good to be Filipino. And given the truth from the criticism against them–the fiesta elections, the dancing politicians, the blame games, the excuses, and the over emphasis on showbiz and the squatters–its bitterness must be so traumatizing that it is a perfect excuse to deny its existence. Not to mention scolding you that you should have put it in “a nice way.” Excuse me? What’s nice about EDSA traffic jams? What’s nice about spitting on the ground? What’s so blessed for being poor?
So there you have perceptual defense. Then you have the bitter truth. Add that with the brainwashing from mainstream media and even certain social media sites. Put it all together and you have the perfect recipe for making an Ampaw Republic.
Of course their way of looking at things will make them fail the So What? Test. Their houses will still be dingy. BIR will still collect too many taxes from the middle class. They will keep electing the ampaw politicians because they can sing and twerk and their mother just died. They will still scream like monkeys in social networks and in public places and then shut up instead of using all their cunning to not let thieving legislators get away with their tax money ever again. Pinoy society will keep on consciously and unconsciously excuse themselves for their incompetence and for shitting on their pants–so long as they are in denial what truly went wrong.
So going back:
Granted that many Filipinos truly need to refine their pakikisama, does that excuse the rest of their society to remain sensitive?
No.
If you’re unwilling or unable to identify and consciously acknowledge your negative behaviors, characteristics or life patterns, then you will not change them. (In fact, they will only grow worse and become more entrenched in your life.) You’ve got to face it to replace it. — Phillip McGraw
Why should Filipinos be so concerned about the way things are said about them?
They shouldn’t. Like many confident men and women that succeed, they should, as Ilda said, take criticism with a grain of salt–with graceful contemplation.
GRP says it all the time. It’s time the rest of Philippine society bite the bullet and ask themselves the hard questions why the BIR collects too much taxes from the taxpayers; why many Manila are roads still covered in black grime, piss and phlegm; why the ampaw politicians, the pickpockets and the muggers keep coming back; and why they have to admit that they are accountable for it.
Anu ba yan ang nega mo naman! Nuod na lang kami ng Eat Bulaga.
I guess Pinoys would rather feel good and content with the dirty society around them rather than feel bad and then put their foot down and admit. “No. I don’t like this, and this is my fault, my friends’ faults, and practically everyone in this society.” I guess they would rather believe their own lies instead of saying, “This shit has to stop.”
No comments:
Post a Comment